Back Off: You’re in My Space!

 

Special Guest Post by:  Carol Ginsey Gorman, Ph.D

One of the easiest mistakes to make during a business encounter with someone is to misjudge how much space the other person needs.

There are five zones in which people feel most comfortable dealing with one another. (One way to picture this is an invisible bubble that we all carry into the workplace – which expands or contracts depending on our relationships.)

• The intimate zone (0-18 inches) is reserved for family and loved ones. Within this zone we embrace, touch or whisper. This close contact is appropriate only for very personal relationships.

• The close personal zone (1.5-2 feet) is the “bubble” most people in the United States like to keep around us. This zone is used for interactions among friends or familiar and trusted business partners.

A far personal zone (2-4 feet) is for interactions we prefer to conduct “at arms length” and in this zone we can communicate interest without the commitment of touching.

• The social zone (4-12 feet) is most appropriate for the majority of most daily business interactions. It is where we interact with new business acquaintances or at more formal social affairs. 

The public zone (over 12 feet) is mostly used for public speaking.

A few notes on space:

• The amount of space required to feel comfortable varies from individual to individual. People who don’t like being touched will tend to “keep their distance” from others. People who touch others while talking will want to get close enough to do so.

• Space can also vary depending on the amount of trust in a relationship. A general rule is: The greater the distance, the lower the level of trust.

• Gender plays an important role too. Men who don’t know each other well tend to keep a greater distance between them than women who have just met.

• The comfortable distance between participants varies with culture. In the U.S. most business relationships begin in the social zone. As the relationships develop and trust is formed, both parties may subconsciously decrease the distance to more personal zones.

• Those who feel powerful and confident will usually control more physical space, extending their arms and legs and generally taking up more room. In doing so, they may unknowingly infringe on another person’s territory.

• Someone may also purposefully stand too close in order to make the other person feel self-conscious or insecure. Police interrogators often use the strategy of sitting close and crowding a suspect.

I’ve also seen managers standing uncomfortably close to employees in order to emphasize their status in the organization.

Not a good idea.

Anthropologists agree that people’s territorial responses are primitive and powerful. And a mistake here can trigger a truly deep-seated response. When someone comes too close, in an undesirable way, it triggers a physiological reaction in the other person – as heart rate and galvanic skin responses increase. The other person then tries to restore the “proper” distance by looking away, stepping behind a barrier (desk, chair, table), crossing their arms to create a barrier, pulling back to create space, or tucking in their chins as an instinctive move of protection. They may even rub their neck so that an elbow protrudes sharply toward the invader.

So keep your distance. Respecting another person’s space can help you build rapport with your colleagues and close sales with your clients.

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