Can You Be One of the Guys?

If you’re at a business luncheon with some male colleagues and they start to “shoot the breeze” with some random chit-chat about sports, do you sit idly by and listen or do you intelligently engage them in conversation on some of the facts about your favorite team? Where do you draw the line in being treated like a lady versus being accepted as just one of the guys?

In a recent article written by Natalay Kogan from workitmom.com, she talked about experience she had during a lunch meeting with a male business contact. She said they talked about a few issues she needed his help with and when their lunch arrived, he said something that startled her. He said, “You know, you talk like a guy. If I didn’t know you were a woman, I’d think I was working with a man.” He went on to tell her that he worked in an office with quite a few women but none of them were as direct and candid as she was.

I don’t think Natalay was trying to be one of the guys.  As a matter of fact, she went on to say she didn’t know if she should’ve been offended, flattered, or something entirely different.  But her article brings up an interesting dilemma some women in business have when interacting with men. If a woman in business is assertive, some may see her as a interesting challenge but others often view her as too pushy and domineering. “She’s acting just like a man!” will be the argument. On the other hand, if she acts like a real southern belle, she may be viewed as timid and weak.

So where is the happy median in dealing with men in business?