Business dining over the holidays?  The way you mind your manners could be a career builder or career buster. Never underestimate the impression you leave with proper etiquette.

Or… More importantly, the bad impression you leave with improper etiquette.

This time of year, a few useful etiquette pointers might save the day. Or your career, Or at least the dinner.

How do you rate at a holiday (and everyday) dining situation?

1. Where should you find your bread and butter plate?

a) To the right of the entrée plate

b) To the left of the entrée plate

2. True or False – Bread should be cut into small pieces with a knife.

3. True or False – It is best carry a drink in your left hand at a cocktail party.

4. True or False – You place your napkin on the chair when leaving the table during a meal and when finished dining.

5. How do you place your utensils so that the wait staff knows that you are finished with your meal?

6. How do you hold the glass when drinking red wine?

7. Should you cut your salad?

ANSWERS

1. B – The bread and butter plate is to the left of the entrée plate.

2. False – Never cut bread or rolls. Break off and butter, or dip in olive oil, one piece at a time.

3. True – place your drink in your left hand, so your right hand is always available to shake hands. If you do it this way, you’ll never have to wipe a damp hand before you shake again!

4. False – If you leave the table briefly during the meal, place the napkin on your chair. At the end of the meal, put your napkin neatly (but not folded) to the left of your entrée plate on the table.

5. Place your utensils in the Finished Position, which means the knife and fork are together, facing in the same direction.

6. When drinking red wine, the glass is always held by the stem, but the hand can come closer to the bowl. When drinking white wine, the hand should never come too close to the bowl of the glass.

7. Yes, you should cut your salad, but only 2-3 cuts … just enough to make bite-sized pieces. If you want it chopped, order it chopped! 

Special Guest Post By: Jennifer Pellet

When your hear “Internet presence” you may think “web site.” But more and more business owners are finding that the most effective and economical way to establish contact with potential customers is by blogging.

The CEOs of Sun Microsystems, Craig’s List, Working Mother Media, and Adobe are just three of an increasing number of major companies with CEOs whose blogs about business are winning raves. But blogging can be even more effective for smaller companies, notes Anita Campbell, editor of Smallbiztrends.com, who says a blog “is one of the best public relations and marketing tools out there for a small business owner.” Still wondering how posting your opinions online can help your company? Here are five ways blogging can boost your business.

Get Noticed. It’s a little known fact: search engines love blogs. Google and other search engines rank listings by link popularity, freshness of content, and ease of indexing—all of which mesh well with the features built into blogging software. “Search engines love fresh content,” says Campbell. “If you write only once a week, that’s 50 updates a year, which is probably a lot more often than you would update a web site.”

Build Your Reputation. There’s no better way to show off your expertise than regularly sharing some of your insights and experiences with a Web audience. “One of my favorite small business blogs is one by Lincoln Sign Company that tells the stories behind some of the signs they’ve made and addresses some of the questions its customers ask
most often,” says Campbell. “That’s a more informative and entertaining way to present information than you could ever offer with standard verbiage on a web site.”

Connect With Customers. Blogs are all about interaction. Blogging software enables viewers to comment on posts, so you’re not just speaking into the Internet ether but opening a dialog. “Creating that conversation in the blogosphere—the community of 40 million-plus bloggers—is essential,” says Darrell Zahorsky, the small business information guide for About.com. “It’s when others post thoughtful comments or link to your blog that you see the most benefit.”

Market Economically. Blogs are far simpler and less expensive than setting up a site. In fact, you can start a blog for free at sites like www.blogger.com and www.wordpress.com. And even more sophisticated services such as typepad.com can run as little as $29 a month. “Even if you want to go so far as to get a custom design and add on bells and whistles, you can have a wonderful blogging presence for as little as $500 to $1,000 a year,” says Campbell.

Get Press. Journalists regularly troll blogs looking for trends and expert sources to interview about them. And, if publishing articles in a trade journal or newspaper is your goal, a blog is a great way to hone your skills and for editors to assess your writing ability.

Guest Post by: Lyve Alexis Pleshette

Is your business in the doldrums? Are sales slow? Reinvigorate your small business with these tips:

1. Learn from the past experiences, including your mistakes.

Before you can move forward, it is always helpful to review the past year and analyze what worked and what did not work for your business. What strategies worked for your business before, and what do you think can work again this time? What were the mistakes you did and need to avoid? Now ask yourself: what could you do better this time?

2. Look at everything with a fresh new perspective.

Shaking up your business starts by looking at the world in new ways. It is so easy to continue doing what you have been doing for years, because of its familiarity and safety. The downside is that you can gradually lose your focus, take things for granted or just assume you know how things are.

A fresh perspective can get you out of your comfort zone, kick start your thinking, and help you find better solutions to your problems — especially during hard economic times.

To do this, start by examining the assumptions you’ve made. Get fresh ideas by reading new books or magazines about your business. Get out and talk to other business owners. Check out forums or even social networking sites to see what your target customers need and other business owners are doing. If it will work for you, take time off and visit new places or experience new things. It can help take your mind off your business and infuse you with new ways of looking at things.

3. Set your goals.

Think of what you want to accomplish this time. Make a list of your objectives for your business, and then list the specific activities that can help you achieve the objectives. Keep your objectives as detailed and measurable as possible. Even better, make a note of what you need to achieve every single day. Sometimes, putting a specific deadline on tasks or goals can spur you more into action.

For a blogger who earns primarily from serving ads, an example of a goal and its activities maybe:

Goal: Increase traffic to blog by 20 percent before the year ends.

?Write at least 5 new posts per week, carefully analyzing the traffic statistics of each post to determine the types of posts preferred by the audience.
?Participate in blog carnivals at least once a month.
?Submit content to social bookmarking sites (even strive to develop content most likely to get to the front page of Digg, for example).
?Connect with at least 3 bloggers per month, whether in terms of commenting on their blogs or requesting for blog roll link exchanges
4. Create your calendar of activities.

It is important to break down your goals and activities into smaller and doable lists of tasks that you can do. To help you keep track of what you want to accomplish for your business, prepare specific timelines for your goals and activities – and stick to it. Whether you are using a planner, PDA or any other scheduling systems, be sure to incorporate your activities into your planning system. Create specific targets for each month – e.g. make a list of what you want to be accomplished each month.

And using whatever system works best for you, set up reminders that can help you keep your eye back to your objectives. Reminders can be in the form of popups in your Outlook calendar, a paper listing the activities that needs to be done pinned to your corkboard, or daily entry into your planner.

5. Do the work!

What good is all the planning if you are not going to implement any of it? Firm up your plans for the first quarter, and then start the work. It feels mighty good to cross off from your list the first thing that you need to do.

Using the blogger as an example, you may want to gear up for the work ahead of you by analyzing your blog statistics. What posts get the most traffic? What posts get the most links? And what posts give you large number of links and clicks from sites such as Digg and other social bookmarking sites?

6. Pump up your networking.

Networking is important for any business. For many things, “who you know” is very important. Having the right contacts can help open doors for you – new opportunities, new customers, new suppliers, new funding sources, new mentors, even someone just to talk to and bounce off ideas. If you’re a home-based business owner, just having a meeting to attend and a chance to interact with other people can bring about a beneficial change of scenery and pace.

Check out professional business networking groups in your area such as BNI http://www.bni.com/ and investigate whether participating in such a network can be beneficial to your business and yourself. Check if using sites such as LinkedIn, Facebook or even MySpace can benefit your business. Or join your local Chamber of Commerce and be active in your local business scene.

7. Try to learn something new.

As they say, the only thing constant is change. Hence it is important to learn to adapt to new ways of doing things, including reaching your target market.

Five years ago, you wouldn’t have thought of promoting your business via online videos, but now the wide reach of online video sites such as YouTube has made it a very appealing way of reaching customers. Consider how having a video can help your business grow and get more buzz. Look at how a presence in social networking sites such as MySpace can grow your business. Or whether direct mail can work wonders for your business.

Be on a lookout for ways you can improve your business, even if that means venturing into unknown territories. Study how others are improving their business processes, doing their marketing and promoting, or creating new revenue streams – and see how these new trends can work for your business.

8. Keep your momentum going.

The difficult part of setting goals to reinvigorate your business is keeping the interest and momentum going. It is so easy to lose track of what you need to accomplish.

To encourage yourself to keep working on the goals you’ve set up, celebrate after every task you have accomplished. Reward yourself, even if that only means taking a day off away from work (meaning no Blackberries, no checking of emails or making phone calls). It may be helpful to put a visible reminder of why you are doing this business. Having a visual reminder can prop you up on days when you feel you’ve lost interest in the business or when you start questioning why are you doing all this hard work.

For more info on women in business go to: www.womenhomebusiness.com

Guest Post by:  Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D

Two of your colleagues are talking in the hallway. You’d like to join the conversation, but you don’t know if you’ll be seen as a rude interruption or a welcome addition.

You can find out if you’re welcome or not – just by looking at their feet. Or so says Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D., author of The Nonverbal Advantage: Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work.

According to Dr. Goman: “When you approach the twosome, you will be acknowledged in one of two ways. If the feet of your two colleagues stay in place and they twist only their upper torsos in your direction, they don’t really want you to join the conversation. But if their feet open to include you then you know that you are truly invited to participate”

And that’s only one of the messages you can get by looking at feet. A few others . . .

Whenever you are speaking with a co-worker who seems to be paying attention, and whose upper body is angled toward you, but whose legs and feet have turned toward the door – realize that the conversation is over. Her feet are telling you she’s ready to leave.

Foot positions are revealing even if someone’s legs are crossed. If the toe of the leg that is crossed is pointing towards you, the person is most likely interested in you. If the opposite leg is crossed, so the top toe is pointing away, they are probably withdrawing.

When people try to control their body language, they focus primarily on facial expressions and hand/arm gestures. And since the legs and feet are left unrehearsed, they are also where the truth can most often be found.

This was the case with a senior manager whose body language was open and confident as sat onstage being interviewed. Then someone brought up the topic of executive compensation. As the manager responded, his facial expressions and upper body gestures remained constant – but his “foot language” changed dramatically: From a comfortable, loose leg cross, he suddenly locked his ankles tightly together, pulled them back under his chair, and began to make tiny kicks with both feet. He then re-crossed his ankles and kicked his feet again. While the executive’s upper body continued to convey a sense of ease, his feet were telling an entirely different story – one of stress and anxiety.

Of course, feet and legs not only react to stressors and threats, they respond to positive emotions as well. Bouncing, tapping, wiggling feet are what professional poker players refer to as “happy feet” In poker it’s a high-confidence tell, a signal that the player’s hand is strong. There is a similar signal in business negotiations. If you see a lot of high-energy foot jiggling (or if you notice a slight bounce in the shoulders that is a result of the movement) you can almost always assume that the party involved is feeling pretty good about his bargaining position.

Dr Goman says that you may already be better than you know at reading feet. Studies show that observers have greater success judging a person’s real emotional state when they can see the entire body.

Guest Post by:  Leslie Ungar

***The views expressed in this article are soley those of the writer’s and does not reflect the opinion of Boomer Diva Nation*** 

Oprah is fat, period. That’s OK. Most of us struggle with weight and end up on the losing end at some time.

There are two things that are not OK. One is her self-imposed expert status. Two, is Oprah being photo shopped on the cover of her own magazine. Oprah is a goddess here on earth. She has done amazing work as an angel. And no amount of tonnage will change that.

To protect her own value, Oprah needs to stop talking about weight as if she is the expert. Napoleon Hill said, “It is not enough to know, one must know and do”. We all know what we should do; the difference is in the doing.

Credibility is devised from three sources:

How we identify our value, communicate our value, protect our value.

When Oprah sets herself up as the diet or physical fitness guru, she is not protecting her value. She can interview experts; she just can’t set herself up as the expert. Her value is not in communicating as an expert. Her value is in the quality of guests and the quality of conversation that she can expose the American public to on a plethora of topics. Or actually, any topic she wakes up and chooses.

Oprah can get away with this disconnect between what she says and what she does, because she is Oprah. The problem is that most of us mere mortals cannot protect our value when there is this schism between what we say and what we do. As a professional speaker and expert on communicating value, the damage is in the example she sets.

Oprah is a freak of nature. A good freak, but a freak. Just like LeBron James is a freak of nature. A good freak, but a freak. The unfortunate consequence is that if we do as Oprah does, if what we say contradicts what we do, we will come across s freaks, and not the good kind.

The second error in her near perfect judgment (except for that horrendous movie she produced her record is near perfect) is the cover of her most recent issue of O. Oprah photo shopped? That’s bad on so many levels. From the perspective of her credibility, how is being photo shopped protecting her own value? How is it communicating her own value?

To tell her readers, through a picture, and a picture is worth a thousand words, that what she looks like is not good enough even for her?

Leslie Ungar

Electric Impulse Communications, Inc.

With unemployment in the US reaching almost 10 percent, many people are transitioning from employee to entrepreneur.

According to business etiquette expert Barbara Pachter, author of When The Little Things Count…And They Always Count, “Out of necessity people are establishing their own businesses. Many of these new entrepreneurs are working from home and having to be professional when interacting with potential customers, clients, venders, former colleagues and bosses”

Pachter suggests these 7 guidelines to help people maintain a business image no matter where their offices are located:

1. Have a separate space for your office. You need an area or room that is private and where you won’t hear dogs barking and/or children screaming. And if you have children, establish a closed-door policy. Your children need to know that you are working and unless it’s an emergency or really important, they are not to disturb you.

2. Answer your phone or cell phone professionally Invest in a separate line for work calls. When you answer, give a greeting and your name: “Good morning, Barbara Pachter speaking” When you are not able to answer the phone, have your callers hear a business message–no little kids talking or music blasting. Tell them who they have reached and when you will return the call.

3. Have a website You can start with a basic site that explains what you do and how to contact you. Use an appropriate business domain name for your website and use that domain name for your email address. (i.e. www.pachter.com and bpachter@pachter.com).

4. Be organized Most people can’t function in chaos. Have file cabinets. Use a contact management system, like ACT, to keep good records of your business contacts and activities. Develop good quality business cards, stationery and any company materials.

5. Create a professional internet presence In addition to having a website, use social media sites like LinkedIn and Facebook to let people know about your business. And remember anything you post becomes part of your professional image. Google yourself to find out what your customers will discover about you. Blog about your work. But don’t get so wrapped up in social media that you neglect other parts of your business.

6. Dress up if you need to. Many people tell me that it helps them feel professional if they put themselves together before they start working. However, if you can work well in your PJs, as long as you don’t videoconference, go for it!

7. Have the appropriate space if you are meeting with people If you don’t have the space, arrange the use of a meeting room or meet in a restaurant.

Barbara Pachter is a speaker, trainer, coach and author of numerous business books, including The Power of Positive Confrontation and NewRules@Work: 79 Etiquette Tips, Tools and Techniques to Get Ahead and Stay Ahead.  For a free copy of her communication e-newsletter, “Competitive Edge,” you can call (856) 751-6141 (NJ) or go to www.pachter.com.

No one likes to get sick.  Depending on how bad you feel, you could be out of commission for awhile.  That’s definitely not good if you’re a woman in business who is responsible for paying bills and feeding the family.

While the official flu season doesn’t start for a few months, the H1N1 flu is already hitting offices and classrooms. Although there isn’t an official flu-fighting diet, there are specific healthy nutrition recommendations that promote good health and wellnessand can help ward off infection. According to Dr. ReneMassengale, “There are specific foods and vitamins that work to boost the immune system and heal the body suchas vitamins C, B6 and B12, folic acid, and flavenoids. Glutathione is an antioxidant compound found in fruits such as watermelon, broccoli, collar greens and cabbage. Vitamins B6 and B12 are found in spinach,high-protein foods, and enriched cereal grains and minerals like selenium and zinc found in poultry, meat, beans, and peanuts.”

Save your business during flu season by eating healthy.

Rene Masengale, Ph.D. is professor of biotechnology at Harrisburg University of Science and Technology. She holds degrees in microbiology and immunology and biology.

Special Post by:  Dr. Patricia A. Farrell 

The Japanese have a word for it, karoshi (???). It means, literally, being worked to death by your employer. It’s been a legal reason for lawsuits in Japan since the 1990s. The first case noted of karoshi was of the death of a married worker in a major newspaper in 1969. Stress does kill and the Japanese were among the first to admit this in damage suits brought by grieving widows of what is termed “salarymen” Not only did they overwork, a number of them took their lives in order to escape from the grinding stress they were submitted to day after day. The primary causes of death, however, were heart attack and stroke. Now, in a strange twist, there’s a computer game by this name.

Case reports indicate that workers often had to work an average of five hours overtime each day, often slept in their offices, could not meet new preset goals of the company, some worked 11 hours on holidays and, eventually, there were suicides as a result of these demands. Overtime was seen, by the company, as voluntary and, therefore, not covered by the compensation package. It reminded me of the “voluntary” overtime in a major Florida food chain where workers had to stay to clean up the store each day. In 2007, a major Japanese car manufacturer was sued for the death of a 30-year-old man who worked 80 hours of overtime a month and 114 hours overtime for the month before he died. One report indicated that 2,200 Japanese killed themselves in 2007 because of their working conditions.

The cases of being overworked to death or committing suicide as a result of work-related stress are not limited to office workers or to Japan. Anyone, in any country in the industrialized world, in any profession can be a victim of death by stress. Consider nurses and physicians in ERs, medical residents, police and firefighters, over-the-road truckers, airline pilots, military personnel, factory workers and all those people who hold not two but three and four jobs.

How does stress hurt you? Let’s look at some of the things it does:

1. Causes stress hormones to constantly pour into your blood

2. Changes the action of your GI tract

3. Can bring on sleep/appetite disturbances

4. Increases the likelihood of depression, anxiety disorders

5. May change the character of your blood to thicken it, which can cause clots and stroke

What can you do about it, if it’s not of your choosing? If you work in the U.S. and you and your physician decide you are suffering from work-related stress that is debilitating, you have a right to file for both temporary and long-term disability benefits. These benefits are not handouts; you paid into this insurance plan by your hard work.

If the work-related stress is within your control, consider lifestyle changes such as:

1. Limiting your hours at the office and increasing the time spent in enjoyable activities

2. Insuring that you get enough sleep each night. Sleep is not a luxury, it’s mandatory for your physical and mental health. Don’t get enough sleep and you run serious risks.

3. Watch your weight and put a little exercise into each day. Walk in place, lift a light dumb bell a few times a day, walk up and down stairs when you can.

4. Take the opportunity to laugh as much as is humanly possible. Make it a rule to laugh out loud at least two to three times a week and keep to it.

See what you can do for you because, when it comes right down to it, you are not as helpless as you may think. Take a look at my Self-help http://www.drfarrell.net/SELF%20HELP.htm) and Stress http://www.drfarrell.net/STRESS.htm) pages on my website.

http://www.drfarrell.net

REFERENCES:

http://www.seekjapan.jp/article/1415/Japan%27s+workplace+fatalities+down+but+Karoshi+deaths+rising

http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/toyota-worker-dies-from-overwork/

http://www.smh.com.au/executive-style/management/working-yourself-to-death-20090518-b9jl.html

http://factsanddetails.com/japan.php?itemid=628&catid=18&subcatid=118

World Health Organization: http://www.workhealth.org/whatsnew/lpkarosh.html

http://www.pacificbridge.com/asianews.asp?id=155

http://www.webmd.com/balance/guide/workaholism

Guest post by:  Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D

A recent study from the University of Chicago found that the more gestures babies used at 14 months (shaking a head “no,” raising arms to be picked up, pointing at an object of interest, etc.), the more words they had in their vocabulary at 31/2 years old.

Which is no surprise to those of us who study body language. Here’ are a few facts I found while researching my book, “The Nonverbal Advantage: Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work”

Gesture and speech are so tightly connected that we can’t do one without the other. Brain imaging has shown that a region called Broca’s area, which is important for speech production, is active not only when we’re talking, but when we wave our hands. And as we grow into adulthood, gesturing becomes more complex, more nuanced, and more interesting.

Did you know . . .

?  A blind person talking to another blind person will use gestures.

?  All of us use gestures when talking on the telephone.

?  When people are passionate about what they’re saying, their gestures become more animated.

?  Studies have found that when you communicate through active gesturing, you tend to be evaluated as warm, agreeable, and energetic, while remaining still makes you be seen as logical, cold, and analytic.

?  On the other hand, over-gesturing with flailing arms (especially when hands are raised above the shoulders) can make you appear out of control, less believable and less powerful.

?  Some gestures have an agree-upon meaning to a group and are consciously used instead of words. (The “thumbs up” gesture in North America is one example). These gestures very by culture – and what is acceptable in one culture can be rude or insulting in another.

?  Many deception cues are subconscious gestures – like the hand to mouth or nose gestures which are typically use when lying. (And, by the way, those same gestures are often displayed when listening to someone you don’t believe.)

?  Pacifying gestures are used to help us deal with stress: Any self touching can be calming. You may rub your legs, pull at your collar, play with your hair, rub your neck, or even cross your arms in a kind of “self-hug”

?  Open palm gestures indicate candor, while hidden hands (or hands in pockets) signals that the person has something to hide or doesn’t want to participate in a conversation.

?  Low confidence is often shown by wringing hands and interlacing fingers.

?  High confidence can be displayed by a steepling gesture (palms separated and fingers touching). You’ll see this used most often by politicians, executives and professors.

So, remember, it’s okay to talk with your hands – as long as you know what they’re saying!

Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D.

President

Kinsey Consulting Services

Berkeley, CA

CGoman@CKG.com

510-526-1727

Article by Lahle Wolfe, About.com

Attracting new customers is obviously important to all businesses. But businesses also need to focus on developing strategies to retain customers for repeat sales and referral customers.

Here are two main types of customers businesses can lose, and how they can lose them:

1. Potential Customers: You can lose potential customers when you fail to attract new business or entice leads into a sale.

Customers who shun your business based on “bad” word of mouth advertising from other people or businesses are also lost potential customers.

1. Repeat and Loyal Customers: The customer is “king” is a simple but important business principle to follow. If you treat your customers badly, use dishonest business practices, or do not have reasonable customer service policies, you are likely to lose out on repeat business.

When you lose loyal customers you not only lose their future business but you also lose any possible referrals they may have given your business.

Losing Potential Customers

Every person that interacts with you or your business or hears about your business from another source is a potential customer.

Internet surfers that visit your website or browse a catalog in the mail are potential customers. If you do not hold their interest because your website or material is unprofessional, boring, or hard to navigate, or does not “speak” to your targeted market, you are losing potential customers.

Reaching potential customers is no guarantee that they will want to do business with you. A driving force behind all forms of direct marketing is to provide a “call to action.”

Depending upon the nature of your business, many of your first-time customers may have the potential to be repeat customers. Do not just consider how to make a one-time sale, think of ways to get customers to come back again and again!

The Principle of Reciprocity and How it Applies to Business

Anyone that knows about your business – whether or not they have actually done business with you – has the power to attract or deter new customers for you either by recommending your company or by sharing their own bad experiences. You can lose customers simply based on the word-of-mouth advertising of others.

Losing Repeat and Loyal Customers

Successful businesses are built one customer at a time. Never undervalue your customers if you want them to refer your business, or come back for repeat business.

The worst business mistakes you can make are ones that lead to customer dissatisfaction. Unhappy customers not only take their business somewhere else, they may also discourage other people from doing business with you.

The following are just a few of the ways you can lose repeat customers:

• Overcharge for your products and services.
• Offer substandard products and services.
• Take advance or back orders for products and then fail to keep customers updated about any delays or troubles in processing their orders.
• Offer poor, or no customer service, and do not respond to inquiries or keep customers, investors, and stakeholders updated.
• Lie. In the world of advertising, many companies consider it acceptable to “embellish” or “emphasize a point in the best light possible.” But to consumers, misrepresentation of a product or service will be seen for what it is – a lie – not as a creative license.

Special Guest Post by:  Carol Ginsey Gorman, Ph.D

One of the easiest mistakes to make during a business encounter with someone is to misjudge how much space the other person needs.

There are five zones in which people feel most comfortable dealing with one another. (One way to picture this is an invisible bubble that we all carry into the workplace – which expands or contracts depending on our relationships.)

• The intimate zone (0-18 inches) is reserved for family and loved ones. Within this zone we embrace, touch or whisper. This close contact is appropriate only for very personal relationships.

• The close personal zone (1.5-2 feet) is the “bubble” most people in the United States like to keep around us. This zone is used for interactions among friends or familiar and trusted business partners.

A far personal zone (2-4 feet) is for interactions we prefer to conduct “at arms length” and in this zone we can communicate interest without the commitment of touching.

• The social zone (4-12 feet) is most appropriate for the majority of most daily business interactions. It is where we interact with new business acquaintances or at more formal social affairs. 

The public zone (over 12 feet) is mostly used for public speaking.

A few notes on space:

• The amount of space required to feel comfortable varies from individual to individual. People who don’t like being touched will tend to “keep their distance” from others. People who touch others while talking will want to get close enough to do so.

• Space can also vary depending on the amount of trust in a relationship. A general rule is: The greater the distance, the lower the level of trust.

• Gender plays an important role too. Men who don’t know each other well tend to keep a greater distance between them than women who have just met.

• The comfortable distance between participants varies with culture. In the U.S. most business relationships begin in the social zone. As the relationships develop and trust is formed, both parties may subconsciously decrease the distance to more personal zones.

• Those who feel powerful and confident will usually control more physical space, extending their arms and legs and generally taking up more room. In doing so, they may unknowingly infringe on another person’s territory.

• Someone may also purposefully stand too close in order to make the other person feel self-conscious or insecure. Police interrogators often use the strategy of sitting close and crowding a suspect.

I’ve also seen managers standing uncomfortably close to employees in order to emphasize their status in the organization.

Not a good idea.

Anthropologists agree that people’s territorial responses are primitive and powerful. And a mistake here can trigger a truly deep-seated response. When someone comes too close, in an undesirable way, it triggers a physiological reaction in the other person – as heart rate and galvanic skin responses increase. The other person then tries to restore the “proper” distance by looking away, stepping behind a barrier (desk, chair, table), crossing their arms to create a barrier, pulling back to create space, or tucking in their chins as an instinctive move of protection. They may even rub their neck so that an elbow protrudes sharply toward the invader.

So keep your distance. Respecting another person’s space can help you build rapport with your colleagues and close sales with your clients.